How to Be a Person
Catherine Newman
From the same author, exploring related themes
What Can I Say?
A warm, practical phrasebook for middle schoolers that gives kids actual words to use when conversations get awkward, painful, or confusing, without lecturing them.
What It's About
What Can I Say? is a social-skills guide for kids roughly ages 10 to 14, written by Catherine Newman as a follow-up to her earlier practical guide How to Be a Person. Where that book covered everyday life skills, this one focuses on communication: how to talk to friends, family, teachers, and strangers when you don't know what to say. Topics range from small, daily moments like listening well, apologizing, and joining a group, to harder ones like responding to a hurtful remark, comforting someone who is grieving, standing up to bullying, or saying no to someone who likes you.
The core idea is scripts. Rather than abstract advice about empathy, Newman offers sample phrases kids can borrow or adapt, along with brief explanations of why they work and what to avoid. Comic-style illustrations act out common situations, which keeps the pages light and easy to browse.
The tone is friendly and non-judgmental, more like a kind older cousin than a school counselor. It is designed to be dipped into rather than read cover to cover. A kid can flip to the section they need before a tricky conversation, or a parent can leave it on the kitchen table and let curiosity do the rest. Adults reading along may find a few scripts they wish they'd had at that age.
Read this if you…
- are a tween navigating friendships and want practical words for tricky moments
- are a parent, teacher, or counselor looking for a non-preachy resource on communication
- liked How to Be a Person and want its focus on conversations and relationships
Skip it if you…
- want a story or narrative rather than a browsable reference guide
- need in-depth help for serious issues like anxiety, abuse, or ongoing bullying that requires professional support
Key Ideas
- 1
Having the words makes kindness easier
Many kids want to be supportive, inclusive, or honest but freeze because they don't know how to phrase it. The book treats social skill as something learnable, giving concrete sample lines so that good intentions can turn into actual sentences. Scripts aren't meant to be recited robotically; they are starting points kids can reshape into their own voice once the basic structure feels familiar.
- 2
Listening matters as much as talking
A recurring thread is that good communication isn't just saying the right thing. Newman encourages kids to pay attention, ask questions, and resist rushing to fix or one-up someone's problem. Knowing when to simply acknowledge another person's feelings is presented as a skill in its own right, especially when friends are upset, grieving, or venting.
- 3
Standing up for yourself and others
The book covers asserting boundaries, disagreeing respectfully, asking for help, and responding when someone says something offensive or cruel. It frames being an ally and protecting yourself as compatible goals, offering options that range from a quiet word to a firm response, so kids can choose an approach that suits the situation and their own comfort level.
- 4
Mistakes are normal and repairable
Rather than expecting kids to get every interaction right, the book models how to apologize sincerely, own a mistake, and repair a friendship. The non-judgmental tone reassures readers that awkwardness is part of growing up, and that recovering gracefully from a misstep is often more important than avoiding one entirely.
Limitations
Because it covers so many situations, each topic gets fairly brief treatment, so readers facing a complicated or serious problem will need more than a page of scripts. Some kids may find the sample phrases a bit polished or adult-sounding compared to how their peers actually talk. The book reflects a broadly progressive, contemporary outlook on inclusion and identity, which most families will welcome but some may want to discuss alongside it. Older teens may feel it is pitched slightly young for them.
Questions Readers Ask
- What age is What Can I Say? best for?
- It is aimed at middle schoolers, roughly ages 10 to 14. Confident younger readers can use it with a parent, and some younger teens will still find it helpful, though older high schoolers may feel the tone and illustrations skew a little young for them.
- How is it different from How to Be a Person?
- How to Be a Person focuses on practical life skills like chores, cooking basics, and taking care of yourself. What Can I Say? zeroes in on communication and relationships: what to say in social, emotional, or awkward situations. They work well as companions, but you don't need one to enjoy the other.
- Is it something a kid will read on their own?
- Often, yes. The comic-style illustrations, short sections, and friendly voice make it easy to browse independently. Many kids will dip in for a specific situation rather than reading straight through, and it also works as a shared read that opens conversations between kids and adults.
- Published
- 2022
- ISBN
- 9781635864342
- Difficulty
- beginner
- Category
- Children's Books
Book details and cover from Google Books.
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