What Are Your Words?
A warm, low-pressure picture book that shows young children pronouns and self-description as something you can explore, ask about, and change, rather than a fixed label.
What It's About
What Are Your Words? is a picture book for young children about pronouns and, more broadly, about the words people use to describe themselves. Ari is a child who doesn't yet feel sure which words fit. When Uncle Lior visits, they ask the question they always ask, and Ari realizes they don't have an answer today. Instead of pushing, the story follows Ari and Lior through a day in the neighborhood, where Ari meets neighbors who share their own words, pronouns included, alongside descriptors about who they are and how they feel.
The approach is gentle and everyday. Pronouns appear as one normal part of introductions, not as a lesson or a problem to solve. The book's central idea is that a person's words can change from day to day or over time, and that not knowing yet is perfectly fine. Uncle Lior models the grown-up behavior the book hopes to encourage: asking, listening, and letting a child take their time.
Reading it aloud takes only a few minutes, and the text is simple enough for preschool and early elementary listeners. The bright, community-centered illustrations show a range of neighbors and families, which gives adults natural places to pause and talk. It works well as a first introduction to the topic, a mirror for kids who are questioning, or a conversation starter in a classroom or library storytime.
Read this if you…
- want a simple, affirming way to introduce pronouns to a preschool or early elementary child
- are looking for a picture book where a questioning or nonbinary child is centered with warmth
- need a short read-aloud to open a classroom or family conversation about respect and introductions
Skip it if you…
- prefer picture books with a strong plot or adventure rather than a gentle concept story
- want a detailed explainer on gender identity for older kids or adults
Key Ideas
- 1
Asking is the respectful default
Uncle Lior's habit of asking Ari what words they're using shows children and adults alike that the polite move is to ask rather than assume. The book makes this feel ordinary and kind, the same as asking someone's name, which helps normalize sharing pronouns in introductions without turning it into a big, awkward moment.
- 2
Not knowing yet is allowed
Ari doesn't have an answer at the start, and the story treats that uncertainty as fine rather than as something to fix quickly. For young readers who are questioning, this is reassuring. For others, it plants the idea that people figure themselves out gradually, and that patience is part of being a good friend or family member.
- 3
Words can change over time
The book presents pronouns and self-descriptions as things that can shift from one day or season to another. Rather than framing identity as a single fixed announcement, it encourages children to check in with themselves and to accept that the people around them might update their words too.
- 4
Pronouns belong to everyday community life
By walking through a neighborhood full of different people sharing their words, the story places pronouns inside ordinary social life: greetings, errands, and gatherings. This shows kids that every person has words, including people who use he or she, so the topic isn't only about certain people.
Limitations
As a concept picture book, it is light on plot; some readers find the neighborhood walk repetitive and the story more of a vehicle for its message than a narrative children will request for its own sake. It introduces pronouns and self-description but does not explain gender identity in depth, so older children with bigger questions will need additional resources or adult conversation. Families who disagree with its affirming premise will obviously not find it suitable. For its intended audience and purpose, though, its simplicity is largely a strength.
Questions Readers Ask
- What age is What Are Your Words? best for?
- It suits roughly ages 3 to 7 as a read-aloud, and early readers can manage parts of it independently. Older elementary children may find it too simple on its own, though it can still work as a quick conversation starter in a classroom before moving on to more detailed books.
- Is it only for kids who are transgender or nonbinary?
- No. While questioning and nonbinary children may see themselves in Ari, the book's message is that everyone has words, including people who use he or she. It's designed to help all kids understand asking about and respecting pronouns, making it useful for general classrooms and families.
- How does it compare to other pronoun picture books?
- Compared with more explanatory titles, this one is story-driven and emotional rather than instructional. It focuses on a child's uncertainty and a supportive adult instead of defining terms. Pair it with a more informational book if your child wants clear explanations of what pronouns are and how they work.
- Published
- 2021
- ISBN
- 9780316542067
- Difficulty
- beginner
Book details and cover from Google Books.
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